who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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