Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
