hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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