Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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