Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
