Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize