kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
