Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
