We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
