It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
