You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
