Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize