u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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