seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
