Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
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Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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