hotel room ftw
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
