Pappa wants mamma naked
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
