Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
