grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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