I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
