I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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