Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
