anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
