Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
