Jerry, you need to find god
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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