Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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