Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
