I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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