Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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