dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We smell like vodka and hangover
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