I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
