You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize