So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
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