i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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