i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
