Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
