So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
