u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
