I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
