Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
