my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
