he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
