She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
