hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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