those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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