i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
