just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
