with your own penis?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I need a beard to bite.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
