I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
