i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
