cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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