Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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