I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
