last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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