Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Also, beer. Big fan.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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