Your mouth is God's brothel.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
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