I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
