we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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