There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
