My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
