Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
