i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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