Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
