I will die if light touches me.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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