Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
